People who show you your light

When your soul has been ravaged with such intense excruciating pain and you think you will never come out of the darkness there are certain people who show you your light.

Early Wednesday morning, I was sipping my morning coffee when my phone rang. The phone startled me, at first, I thought I had won the Cash Cow on Sunrise (I put that out to the universe every bloody morning) but when I saw her name on my screen I instantly answered. On the other end of the phone, through my pounding heart, I heard the voice of a beautiful lady I had been fortunate enough to cross paths with many years ago.

I met this beautiful soul whilst I was teaching both her boys swimming in Harvey. Every day she would sit on the edge of the pool with her feet in the water, watching her boys do their lessons. These two gorgeous boys made me laugh every single day. They have smiles that light up their whole face and they have the funniest and bubbliest personalities to go with them. They literally made me look forward to going to work every day.

This one day we got talking and she told me why she’s always sitting so close to the class, she simply didn’t want to miss out on one moment of her boy’s lives. She wanted to be there for every moment, and she wanted to soak up every memory. Every day we’d talk more, and I learnt that through her own life journey she knew how quickly life could change. I instantly felt this connection with her, and I told her about my beautiful brother Chaddy, I told her about his family, his fight and how losing him changed my whole world. Right then I knew we would be friends for life. When lessons finished at Harvey, we promised we’d keep in touch.

A few months later, my beautiful boy was killed.

Her messages of support meant the absolute world to me. She’d always check in to see how I was going; she’d let me know what her boys were up to and she’d send me photos. Through her hard times, I’d let her know I was thinking of her and then one day out of the blue I randomly saw her and the boys at the movies. It was so good to see them. She could see how hard it was for me, she could see my pain and she could see that I was struggling. She messaged me later to tell me how good it was to see me. It meant so much to me.

This beautiful lady is carrying a heavy heart right now and she needed to ring me to see if I was ok. The pain she carries, although it’s different has brought me to the forefront of her mind. We both cried as we spoke about life, death and the spirit world. We had touching conversations about Lloyd and Jack and I told her about all the little things Jack does to let me know he’s still here. Through our conversation and to reassure her that I was going ok (whatever the hell that means) I shared with her my vision of a road trauma hub here in Collie. She messaged me later and told me how proud she is of me and she can hear it in my voice with how far I’ve come.

I thought about her all day and I’m still thinking of her. Through our conversation, this beautiful lady has made me see there is a little light that is flickering in my darkness, something I haven’t been able to see on my own. However small it is, it’s there.

Thank you for your kindness, thank you for your support and thank you for your friendship x